First Person Plural

First Person Plural by Helen Fremont

Our marriage is based on a fundamental, irrefutable fact: neither of us can bear the trauma of dating.  Our own courtship was excruciatingly long.  The general rule of thumb in lesbian relationships is that on the second date you move in together.  Donna and I held off cohabitation for nearly two months, which is something like a record in the gay community.  Having accomplished this feat together, we are not about to venture out on our own again.  This basic fear lies at the heart of our relationship, and offers us a sense of stability and security.  We are bound to each other because neither of us has the courage to start over again.

Published in Why I’m Still Married: Women Write Their Hearts Out on Love, Loss, Sex, and Who Does the Dishes, ed. Karen Propp and Jean Trounstine.  New York: Hudson Street Press, published by Penguin Group, 2006. Republished in The Aims of Argument, A Text and Reader, 7th edition, by Timothy Crusius and Carolyn Channell.  New York: McGraw-Hill Companies, Inc., 2010.